As far as reality television goes, this show is the real deal. If there are two things I know more than just a little about, they are television and addiction. My career in entertainment began as a production assistant on the set of the low budget action/thriller, Point Blank, starring the tragically talented Mickey Rourke. This was a big deal for Forth Worth, TX and the opportunity of a lifetime for a kid who was just voted most talented by his class. I was 17 then and had just graduated high school a week before. When I walked onto that set for the first time I felt like Matthew McConaughey entering the pool hall in slow motion. I felt awesome!
That was until reality set in. It was all make believe! Now, I admit I was a little naïve, but I knew the difference between reality and fantasy. I knew that the land of OZ was just a dream. The problem was I had been shown the wizard behind the curtain. The Great Wizard of OZ would reveal himself as a junkie movie star passed out in his trailer with a needle in his arm. I was devastated. All I ever wanted to do since I was a little boy was make movies. Was this my future? And like that… the magic was gone and I feared it was gone forever. Regardless, I had to get to the Emerald City.
I packed up my humble belongings and drove west to La La Land, where I ended up working on dozens of films and a dozen more reality shows. I was there when ordinary people raced each other in amazing lands. I was there when our idols bowed before judgment. Now, I am here in Abilene, TX almost a year into my own ‘recovery’. My drug of choice, my DOC (as the recovery kids say) is simply… MORE. I was the lab rat who kept pushing the pleasure button until he almost died. I needed help. More importantly I wanted help.
If you are new to recovery you’ll soon learn the differences between your needs and your wants. The point is I was lost, confused, depressed, angry and isolated. Alone in my condo I got down on my knees, shiraz in hand, and wept. I confessed to my creator that I had lost control and that I needed help. I had taken the first step. I left Los Angeles financially ruined and drove east to Texas where treatment was waiting. The prodigal son was returning home a self-proclaimed failure.
On April 5th eight people, like me will share their stories with America. Together they will take the first step toward recovery by admitting they had become powerless over their addiction and that their lives had become unmanageable. This, my friends, will not be easy. Not with the world watching. I’m not sure I could do it… Especially knowing what a hot mess I was in the beginning.
My name is Brock Cravy and I’m addicted to Me.